I used to think that the smashmouth song "why can't we be friends?" was a song sung for a girl till i saw the mtv and realised it was somewhat an anti-rascist song.. why can't we just get along?
yes... why can't we just get along?
This is addressed to a certain someone whom things have grown awkward with:
Dear ____&_______,
The situation is such that the atmosphere is tense and puzzling whenever we are together or whenever i think of you. I guess its partially my fault that i allowed things to get blown out of proportion.
Where did it begin? I really don't remember, when i sift through the bad memories that seem to vastly outnumber the good ones, I get lost in time and space and my own blurred judgement and weak ability to remember things with great detail.
However, one thing i remember clearly, that we were once good friends, we had a lot to laugh about, we looked out for each other and simply enjoyed outselves.
I always thought that we were friends because I was who I am - and not just Joshua's girlfriend. I never thought of you as so-and-so's gf or my ex-colleague... you were always you and how we met was not an important detail. I valued your friendship and your personality, good and bad.
When things turned sour between josh and I, I hoped it wouldn't affect our friendship but it did. I could see that you sort of took sides, as much as you tried not to. I know you were not used to us not being together and when someone new came along, all the more you disapproved. Hey, as my friend, shouldn't you be happy for me and with me? That's all I ask for. It doesn't mean that Josh and I have to be together forever FOR YOU. Josh and I have our own issues to deal with, if we need your help, we'll ask for it and so far, we've been dealing with issues by ourselves and we like it this way. As close as we are there are things you will never understand and implications of telling everyone about what goes on behind closed doors will be worse than keeping it private. And besides, its meant to be private... we don't pry into your personal life and issues (unless you want us to).
Now that Joshua and I are back together, I hoped that you would still treat us the same as before, ultimately, the only thing that has changed is - josh and I have grown, used the time to reflect, learnt more about ourselves and each other and most important of all, we have decided to try our very best - both of us.
I won't say that I'm a perfect girlfriend, i never was and neither is Joshua (a perfect bf). Are you a perfect friend?
We just try to be the best we can be...
I've always been concerned for you but i can't feed you hand and foot (likewise you) and i've always respected that invisible line of privacy and i just hope you'll respect it too... I try not to judge your actions but sadly, i know that you've been making assumptions about me.
All i want is for things to be back to normal. All i hope for is for you to be happy. If, making hurtful comments, judgements and assumptions make you happy (in such a sad sad way) then i guess our ways of friendship are not similar at all.
the only comfort i take in is that, time might heal all awkwardness, erase all sadness and reproduce the simple friendship we once had.
Yours Sincerely
joline
